how to tell someone they are interesting

A more interesting answer may be, I thought it was his best work so far. This may mean that you travel to a remote place that few people have heard of or you try picking up a new hobby like writing poetry or making food from another country. Humility is achieved when you have an open mind and heart. Whats your best advice on how to deal with failure? For example, if you ask someone, Whats your view of [political party]? or Do you agree with the death penalty? the conversation will probably get livelier. But who your stil connected to. They were assumed to be less popular. If you are a leader and can make people laugh, your team will be more comfortable and they will feel more at ease in their workplace. Whats something youve accomplished that youre extremely proud of? when ever I tried to talk to someone I know I become anxious and shut up.At that time no word come from my mouth but after I went from there I think tomorrow I will talk and feel comfortable and next day the same thing happen.Even sometimes I become confuse how to start talk to my close friends.And I think that Im depressed. You are unique from everyone else and you should have the courage to celebrate that. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / Amazon Music. Sometimes I feel like you have to choose the right topic for the right scenario. You could discuss things like major accomplishments, travels, volunteer experiences, unique skills, or any hobbies you enjoy. It doesnt have to be our top passion in life. It isnt about what your best friend cares about. Which country will you love to visit or live in, and why? Listen to their answers earnestly so you can follow up with more thoughtful questions. People are often stuck in unhealthy relationships not due to lack of awareness but because the truth is buried underneath fear. It means that you are creative, honest, genuine, and not afraid to be true to yourself. $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. WebQuestions to get to know someone. What did you do in Paris?. Hi, Thanks for your helpful contents. 100% Privacy Guarantee: We take your privacy seriously. This allows people to trust you. To become more interesting, let your inner weirdness out for others to see. Start with the end in mind. WebSecret wishes. There are some simple techniques that will help you become a better conversationalist. He might also do it because he is I love to connect more with my patients and get to know them better. What do you value most about our friendship? This is like being a conversation samurai or something whether or not it makes people like me, i cant really tell. This cooling is actually beautiful, and shows that weve become comfortable with the other person. Having a passion gives people a sense of purpose in life. But you dont want to get stuck in trivial chit-chat. Our brains are really good at coming up with assumptions about people. However, it is hard to work in someones mouth and let them talk at the same time. Do you think youll ever move back?. Ive been so busy, the time has flown by. 3. Veterans Day, however, honors everyone who has served in the U.S. military. Borderline Personality Disorder and Social Isolation, What It Means When a Partner Wants to Socialize Without You, 11 Reasons Why People Don't Let Go of Unhealthy Relationships, 5 Kinds of Blame-Shifting, and Why They Work, 12 Signs That Someone May Be Involved With a Cult, Interesting people disclose more of their thoughts and feelings than boring people do. Can I ask about peoples pets with my colleagues?) This is true whether your friend lives in town or across the country. There are many different types of people you could be For example, if youre also interested in bikes, you could talk about cycling, ask if she bikes to work, and what bike she would recommend. Instantly beat self-consciousness with the "OFC-method". How to Know What to Talk About, How To Talk To Strangers (Without Being Awkward), How To Be More Talkative (If Youre Not a Big Talker), 22 Tips to Make Small Talk (If You Dont Know What to Say), 23 Tips to Bond With Someone (And Form a Deep Connection), How to Make Intellectual Conversation (Starters & Examples), How To Tell A Story In Conversation (15 Storyteller Tips), 280 Interesting Things to Talk About (For Any Situation), How to be an interesting person to talk to, TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD. Once you have established that you have at least one thing in common, you have a reason to follow up with them later and ask them to hang out. Youll get a 100% free custom report with the areas you need to improve.. Or maybe people who really are fascinating, and just don't know it. Introverts don't need to Furthermore, being an interesting person helps you expand your network. When you are weird', people see you as not being exactly like everyone else, therefore you are interesting to talk to and look at. Here are the most interesting qualities a person can have and how you can increase those qualities in yourself. Im happy its helpful to you . This makes it easier to be curious[3] and come up with a good response. Reasons Why & What to Do, How To Keep A Conversation Going (With Examples), How To Have Deep Conversations (With Examples), 46 Best Books on How to Make Conversation with Anyone, 210 Questions to Ask Friends (For All Situations), Dont Know What to Say? And about the other thing, I dont think you need to be embarrassed that you forgot or dont understand a joke. Thankyou David? Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. Wendy Rose Gould is a lifestyle reporter with over a decade of experience covering health and wellness topics. Being passionate about something isn't just about being knowledgeable, it is also about feeling strongly about the subject. We applaud you in the steps youre taking to develop a positive personality. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. But I dont think Im comfortable to just tell the truth either.. Whats something that scares you, but you do it anyway? Instead, pursue topics that you actually find fascinating. Learn more on how to make interesting conversation in our guide. Whats something Ive done that has pushed you away or made you feel like creating distance between us? If she is, you can now segway into talking about that. If you have not found your funny bone yet, there are strategies you can use to help you become funnier. A Blame-Free Way to Reach an Emotionally Unavailable Partner, Might Your Partner Be in Your Blind Spot? The main difference is the Why behind the choices. Many couples balance treasured time together with maintaining individuality. How Much Should New Couples See Each Other? Fortunately, you can turn most conversations around if you know what kinds of questions to ask and what topics to bring up. Follow on Twitter or read more. (This is different from just talking about yourself all the time.). Whats the best compliment youve ever received from someone? Theres nothing wrong with following trends sometimes. Being quiet is How to cope with obsessive thoughts in romantic situations. If you often feel stuck when youre trying to strike up a conversation with someone, it may help to memorize a few conversation starters. What do you think is the key to a meaningful, life-long friendship? But there is one problem: The biggest barrier to being more interesting is fear. In this section, well look at some topics that work well in most social situations. They also found that we are probably right to fret about whether other people might be judging us as boring, because if they are, they are likely to be judging us harshly on many other qualities as well. For millions of people, the coffee break is a key but often underappreciated part of each day. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. Have you watched any TV shows or movies recently that youd recommend? Nothing is more boring than someone who is constantly talking about how great they are and all the cool things theyve done. I think. A punch is often the difference between awkward silence and laughter. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. Immerse yourself in as many ideas and interesting stories as possible. "Sometimes one person may notice a special or unique quality and acknowledge it with a, Wow, that's awesome, or I like what youre saying. Other times, Being closed off to the opinions and viewpoints that are not in line with your own is a sure way to become un-interesting. I know delivery is really important when telling engaging stories, but I can never think of a single story that I can tell people that will hold their interest longer than ten seconds. Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home. Let them explain how they know people and ask relevant follow-up questions. They were judged more harshly than the interesting people in nearly every way: They were liked less. Do you have a dream job youd love to do?. Subscribe to an email digest such as Morning Brew to give you a daily heads up of whats going on in the world. Lets say that you dont know much about books, but you do enjoy talking about environmental issues, and you think thats a topic shed also find interesting. People also want to know who they are talking to. If they are indifferent, try another subject and see what they say. See if anything jumps out at you. When thinking about something interesting about Those who practice humility are approachable and genuinely care about other people. We have a guide to help you become more interested in others if youre not naturally curious. But here, were using this extraordinary ability to connect faster and make interesting conversations. Do you see yourself living somewhere else in the future? Where and why this place? Is Integrative Psychiatry Going Mainstream? When you notice yourself getting self-conscious, bring your focus back to the conversation. Whatever they say, you can now ask: Now youre tapping into what they like to do in their own time, which is interesting for them to talk about. "Blame-shifting" is a specific form of verbal abuse, although it may coincide with gaslighting and other forms. I want to tell them For example, you may be especially interested in keeping up with environmental issues, learning about a new culture, or learning how to create an effective schedule to meet your goals. If youve been sharing views on a few other subjects, you probably feel safe enough to move on to more sensitive issues. Just by saying, So, a few years ago I was on my way to or Have I told you about that time I?, you are tapping into the part of someones brain that wants to hear the rest of the tale. Becoming interested in others is one way to become interesting yourself. Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. WebWe would like to show you a description here but the site wont allow us. When a conversation gets boring, remember the FORD topics: Family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. This will help captivate people's If youre talking about how cold and unpleasant the weather has been recently, you could ask. Hows your week been?, If its nearly the weekend, ask about their plans, e.g., Im definitely ready to take a couple of days off. I wonder what its like? I already started today after reading another blog post! An exciting conversation partner knows how to make the other person feel interesting, too. Take our quiz to get started. To stay humble, remind yourself that you dont need to talk yourself up. Whats your favorite way to wind down?. I want to tell them outright: You fascinate me But I worry it's too weird? In the example, the storyteller doesnt try to look like a hero. You can also browse listings for local workshops and classes. I find it hard at times to include myself in conversations. They seemed harder to get to know. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The more you read, the more you will have an understanding of a variety of topics. Being open-minded allows you to discover many things and try out new perspectives. Looks, clothes, the area/place/city you see them in, accent, body language, age. Its what you love in the most honest part of yourself. Your brain creates new connections while you read as you create unique pictures in your mind that can then serve as inspiration in any part of your life. No one wants to sit around and hear the same stories over and over when they can engage in a more fascinating conversation that is apart from the norm. A great tool to do this is to join over 1 million others and start your day with the latest FREE, informative news from this website. They have the habit of staying humble about their strengths. What was your first impression of me, and how has it changed? When youre done talking about work, its time for the next question: When youve arrived at this question, youre past the hardest part of the conversation. Heres an example showing how you can use What, Why, When, and How questions in a conversation: What Questions: Whats it like to live there? What do you like the most about it? What was it like to move away?, When Questions: When did you move? Even if your questions sound simple, they will help you develop a baseline understanding of what they're talking about if it is something that you have never experienced yourself. Describe an Interesting Person. This doesnt mean that you have to make extreme life decisions to be interesting. A fact about the sky. Boring people Learn how to stop being awkward in our free training. Ideas? People who fall in love quickly are more attracted to toxic personalities. Im staring at my porridge but cant eat and want to throw up again. Think about a time in your life when you were talking to your friends about something that you were (or still are) passionate about. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. Just watched your video on getting into more personal conversation topics and felt inspired! There arent any easy answers that apply to all situations. Try to think of three dependable stories to have on hand that will entertain and engage the people around you. People with humility are always on a path to self-improvement. David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. Unsubscribe from personalized tips at any time. If youd like some more ideas, use this list of 222 questions to ask to get to know somebody to help you start an engaging conversation. Having unique hobbies or skills. I do this kind of stuff when talking to people all the time, making assumptions about their interests snd stuff usually im dead on. A Ukrainian "sabotage" group crossed into Russia and attacked a town in the Belgorod region, resulting in at least eight people being injured, its governor said. Improve socially without doing weird out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. Someone who always agrees with the majority to not rock the boat can come across as pretty boring. Conversation starters and deep questions to strengthen connections. Has a random stranger ever made a really big impact on you? I feel totally exhausted but try to prepare myself for the day, taking a shower and shaving. It may be a form of self-sabotage (sharing the bad parts of ourselves to scare away the people who wont accept us) or as a way of promoting ourselves (sharing too much of our life story to try and appear interesting). Use descriptive and sensory terms that people can relate to by describing the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings of the story. Asking someone for their opinions in front of other people can make them feel awkward. Here are 3 examples of things you can try to learn about someone: You can challenge yourself to ask people about these things when it feels natural. This will help you gain new experiences and talk to other people about the things they do that you may want to learn. 2. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Having a mission gives you a reason to talk to someone and helps you uncover things you have in common. When were together, what makes you feel your sexiest? But lack of eye contact can make people think that we dont care what they have to say. Learn how to tell your stories in a way that will hold your listeners interest. I become afraid of whats happening but I prepare breakfast and I get dressed. Sometimes, thats a bad thing, like when we make judgments rooted in prejudice. Boring people also contribute less to the conversation overall than interesting people do. An interesting person doesnt have to have a long list of exciting stories for every occasion. It takes courage to be an interesting person. Both I think. But if youre talking with a customer, the conversation might be too short in its nature to actually make it deeper. You can then start asking questions that help you get to know the other person better and discover what you have in common. There are some people I come across, some are friends and some are strangers, that just astound me. My main challenge is from how I grew up introverted and suppressed in life. People gravitate towards funny individuals for several reasons. Thanks! Make it fun and professional. Are you wondering how they do it? 5 . You might come across mutual interests more often than you think. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. The problem is, how do I figure out what the person does to guess their interests? You might start worrying and start thinking things like, Will they look down on me for not having been to Europe? BetterHelp offers support via phone or video at $64 per week. How long was their journey to Europe? Use "conversational threading" to avoid awkward silence, Learn a proven technique to get past empty small talk. There are so many new skills you can start learning today. Being vulnerable with others is scary, but it can also make others perceive you as brave, interesting, and authentic. Many people worry that the young are easily pulled into cults. Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva Universitys clinical psychology doctoral program. You crave intimacy but settle for crumbs of connection. Whether were talking about personality or looks, our attention is drawn to those who are different. Do you know if its any good?, Current affairs, e.g., What did you think of the most recent presidential debate?, Local news, e.g., What do you think of the new landscaping theyve done in the local park?, Hidden skills and talents, e.g., Is there something youre really good at that surprises people when they find out?, Education, e.g., What was your favorite class at college?, Passions, e.g., Whats your favorite thing to do outside of work? or Whats your idea of a perfect weekend activity?, Upcoming plans, e.g., Are you planning anything special for the holidays?. 31. Engaging in continuous improvement This may involve regularly asking other people what you can do better. Being an interesting person is really just a collection of other qualities which you can work on. Read our. Take this quiz and see how you can improve your social life. Guys are biologically tuned to be providers, so when they are with someone they like, this instinct kicks in, and they want to take up the bill without bothering you. How have your goals or dreams changed over time? The combination of everything that you have learned and the things you have done make you truly different from anyone else. Interesting people know their opinions and are ready to share them at the right time and place. I feel like Im so boring that no one will want to get to know me.. What did they do there? To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. Though Memorial Day has evolved, it remains a day to honor the nations war dead. Youll get a 100% free custom report with the areas you need to improve. We encourage you to embrace your uniqueness and let it shine through with every interaction. I also work at a small store, where Im essentially alone for most of my shift, and I dont have much in common with the people I work withI have a bicycle, but currently cant afford a car, but that may change soon. Everyone forgets stuff like that or they just dont get it, many times people just pretend like they understand . Lupita Nyongo understands why people may believe she and Janelle Mone had a romantic relationship. He manages SocialSelfs scientific review board. We just have to activate them. Listen to what other people have to say recognize their rationale and actions. Comment on your surroundings, e.g., I love that painting over there! Perhaps you have someone in your workplace who is considered to be a fascinating individual. When you show that you are interested, conversations tend to become deeper and richer. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? If you are interested in self-improvement tips, you might also want to check out this post on self-awareness activities. Being interesting in conversation isnt just about telling the other person about the cool things you do. Here are a few of the ways they discovered that boring and interesting people behaved differently: Interesting people disclose more of their thoughts and Make an assumption just like we did in the exercise in the article. We have an article with ideas for 280 interesting things to talk about in every situation. Youll get to know different people from different sectors of society. Sometimes, in order to be different, you need to try new things to see what you like. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. All of these things can be learned by reading. Her answer will tell you whether shes concerned about environmental issues. Have you found anything yet?, Ask the other person how their day or week has been going so far, e.g., I cant believe its Thursday already! Alive or passedand money no issuewhich musician would you love to see perform live? 7. In fear mode we: Worry about people judging our ideas Doubt ourselves Are afraid of what people will think of us So we hide whats interesting about us. Maintaining the status quo is boring. 1. You could discuss things like major For example, How was your vacation? (an open question) encourages the other person to give a more in-depth answer than Did you have a good vacation? (a closed question). A vibrant, skilled speaker can make even the most boring topic interesting. These are probably the people you have found most interesting. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, How to Be a More Interesting Person: 11 Strategies to Captivate Someones Attention, Click Here to Get a FREE Printable Worksheet for Setting Effective SMART Goals, A great tool to do this is to join over 1 million others and start your day with the latest FREE, informative news from this website, People gravitate towards funny individuals, strategies you can use to help you become funnier, Learning a new skill increases your success, 30 Natural Foods That Give You Energy and Keep You Productive, The 20 Health and Wellness Myths That Can Negatively Influence Your Well-being. Get your audience engaged in your story by using hand gestures, voice dynamics, and facial expressions to help them visualize the scenario. In fact, when you're with other people, you don't have to say a whole lot about yourself for other people to think that you're interesting. One main reason why people dont dare to be different is because they are too concerned about what other people will think. I love spending time with you. Boring people use more "empty words" and say more things that don't mean muchfor example, saying "uh-huh" to agree with other people, but not much else. Closed-ended questions can be answered with a Yes or No, but open-ended questions invite longer answers. You shouldnt feel the need to hold back when someone asks you a question to try and appear more intriguing. 2023 Oldtown Publishing LLC 479 State Route 17 N In general, its OK to talk about these subjects when: Memorize a useful phrase to redirect a conversation that has become tense or difficult. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Rather than just saying, this podcast was interesting, they will talk about the ideas presented on the show, share their own ideas and what they found particularly interesting, and be able to spin a new conversation from there. Reading excites your brain and gives your sense of creativity a chance to thrive. Everyone has insecurities. In this article, youll learn how to spark up a conversation, how to avoid being boring, and how to make a conversation flow again if its starting to dry up. Alternatively, engage them in a conversation about their passions in life by asking thoughtful questions about their values and priorities. BetterHelp offers support via phone or video at $64 per week. All rights reserved. What was it like for you to live in Denver?. They do things in such a different way than I would. But the most interesting people dont go out of their way to look or act like everyone else. Standard answers like this are not very interesting, even if most people enjoy these things. When you ask someone what they do in their spare time, many people say things like watching movies and hanging out with friends. A rule of thumb is to ask questions that contain the word you. Here are some examples of how to make conversations more interesting by transitioning from small talk topics to more exciting subjects: If you challenge yourself to learn something about people when meeting them for the first time, youll enjoy the conversation more. Its often more stimulating to talk about opinions than facts, and most people like to be asked for their opinions. Say what you really think about things, even if you know that other people won't like it. One common piece of advice is to avoid sensitive topics when you havent known someone for very long. If you learn useful skills, such as web design or how to use a sewing machine, you can become the go-to person any time a friend needs to build a website for their new business or hand-make a blanket for their new baby nephew. Unsubscribe from personalized tips at any time. Your comments and novels are always welcome here . Do you have any plans lined up for the weekend?, Ask for their opinion on a local event or change that is relevant to both of you, e.g., Have you heard about the new plans to completely re-landscape our communal garden? or Did you hear that the head of HR resigned this morning?, Comment on something thats just happened, e.g., That class finished half an hour late! Discover mutual interests. Whether youre putting yourself out there in new social situations or hoping to nourish existing connections, these 50 platonic and romantic questions can help you get to One way to know that someone secretly likes you is that he is always reaching for the bills whenever you go out together. how to start a conversation and make friends, 222 questions to ask to get to know somebody, http://ejse.southwestern.edu/article/view/7773, https://k12.thoughtfullearning.com/minilesson/asking-and-answering-5-ws-and-h-questions, How To Be More Outgoing (If Youre Not the Social Type), 17 Tips to Improve Your People Skills (With Examples), How To Be More Social (If Youre Not a Party-person), How to Never Run Out of Things to Say (If You Blank Out), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), How to Make Interesting Conversation (For Any Situation), How To Be More Approachable (And Look More Friendly), How to Stop Being Quiet (When Youre Stuck in Your Head), Do People Ignore You? It can be hard to develop the habit of consistently growing by listening to other people and even wondering if you may be wrong about your own opinions. Hope is double-edged, false hope can set you on a collision course with despair. Heres an example of how to make a conversation interesting by sharing something about yourself: You, sharing something slightly personal: Cool, I have relatives in Boulder, so I have many nice childhood memories from Colorado. To get some ideas for unique hobbies you can try, read through this Reddit thread where people share their unique hobbies or Wikipedias list of hobbies. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); SocialSelf works together with psychologists and doctors to provide actionable, well-researched and accurate information that helps readers improve their social lives. Interview Question: "Tell Me About Yourself" (Tips and Example Answers) Examples of fun facts about yourself questions If you find yourself in one of the above Even if they dont have any plans, its fun to talk about how they spend their free time. If you could have dinner with anybody in the world from across history, who would it be and why? Do you often get stuck in dull conversations or struggle to think of something to say when a conversation begins to die? Lets say everyone is talking about a movie they saw recently and how much they liked it. Most people can share things on a surface level but struggle to go deeper. As Ive And wow, did the boring people get nailed. So go ahead and dye your hair pink or sing out loud in public. Research into who is most likely to sext, and why. Not all friendships are designed to last a lifetime. Common qualities of extremely boring individuals include poor improv and storytelling skills. Therefore, open-ended questions are a useful tool when you want to keep a conversation going. Expose yourself to new ideas and even new people you wouldn't otherwise meet by researching local meetups on a variety of topics. For example, lets say youre talking to someone who tells you, I went to Paris last week.. Whats a flaw you see in yourself that youre currently working on? Choose one that especially stands out and makes you a memorable candidate. Uhmoh, do a poll on a facebook girl's group and figure out how many women hate The most interesting people dont just talk about themselves and their lives. SocialSelf does not provide medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Even makeup and photo filters go through trends. Your life experiences make you the person you are. Read more in our guide on how to stop oversharing. Is there anything creating a lot of stress in your life right right now? The complete guide on how to make interesting conversation. I work as a cashier. Following your dreams even when they arent part of the traditional life path makes you more unique and, in turn, more interesting. For example, Its interesting to meet someone who holds such different views! Its hard to say, it depends on if they actually seem to hold a grudge or if you are just afraid that they are? Both of you are already comfortable sharing opinions about less controversial topics. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. To stop and give the break its proper due, the town of Stoughton, Wisconsin, hosts an annual Coffee Break Festival. You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results. What we don't need to wonder about is what makes people come across as boring. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. To continue with the example above, you might start thinking, Paris, thats cool! Although it has certain advantages, playing it safe is being boring. Perhaps youll find a commonality. Here are some tips to help you make and keep eye contact: When people arent talkingfor example, when they are taking a quick break to formulate their thoughtsit can be a good idea to look away, so they dont feel pressured. University of North Dakota UND Scholarly Common. 2012-2023 SocialSelf LLC. 1. It can be difficult to think of conversation topics when youre talking to someone, particularly if you are nervous. Under the Emma, works in a bookstore example, segue is spelled as segway. For example, lets say that you meet this person, and she tells you that she works in a bookstore. But the truth is, no one cares. 280 interesting things to talk about in every situation, How To Be More Outgoing (If Youre Not the Social Type), 17 Tips to Improve Your People Skills (With Examples), How To Be More Social (If Youre Not a Party-person), How to Never Run Out of Things to Say (If You Blank Out), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), How to Make Interesting Conversation (For Any Situation), How To Be More Approachable (And Look More Friendly), How to Stop Being Quiet (When Youre Stuck in Your Head), Do People Ignore You? 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 32. Ask yourself, What might we have in common?. When you ask Others will be impacted by your unique contributions. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. Whats the number one priority for your lifetime? By reading different types of materials, you can create a structured path toward understanding and taking better actions in the future. What is interesting to us that we also might have in common with them? To hold better conversations, you need to learn several skills: asking good questions, looking for common interests, active listening, sharing things about yourself, and telling attention-grabbing stories. We are so understaffed., You: That sucks. To move beyond small talk, try to ask a personal question that relates to the topic. In relationships, using caution is an approach that typically yields better results. Use descriptive and sensory terms that people can relate to by describing the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings of the story. 12 Ways to Tell Someone Is Really Intelligent (and Not Just Whats the best advice youve ever received? Sometimes, we may try to rush or create closeness by oversharing. If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to bond, take our 1-minute quiz. Definition of interest. This will give him a picture of yourself, your pride, on how much you value yourself. How do you make an assumption without previous knowledge? By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. You may discover mutual interests or discover that youve visited similar places. Thats how to make chat interesting. You can speak about digital education but look how elderly people are getting used to technology. Through reading, you will start to view the world in a more complex and comprehensive way, which will help people of all kinds relate to you better and want to be around you. Think of the most exciting people youve ever met. You get 100% free personalized tips based on your results. You should feel free to live your best life, which means you need to be a true, genuine, and real individual. Consider yourself to be a lifelong learner in this way by being open to other people and expanding your view on issues. If they still hold a grudge against you its probably time to move on. 2. SocialSelf does not provide medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 2. You can only be yourself, be honest and kind. 50 Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone Better. You are willing to listen, learn, and respect the other persons opinions. I want to be a more interesting person, but I dont know where to begin. It's a good idea to branch out, and when other people see you being comfortable with who you are, they will be captivated by your presence. Make sure your body, feet, and head are pointing in their general direction. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. People will notice your ability to honor your true self, which is an attractive characteristic in anyone. Were they insecure, or did they seem to believe in themselves? Do you want to talk about it? Are you stuck for ideas on what to talk about? Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. However, it shows that you can turn everyday situations into an entertaining story. But its hard when you sometimes think that the other person hold grudges against something. If you could give a 10-minute presentation on any subject, what would it be? The first set of questions on this page are perfect for getting to know someone you just met or someone you dont know well. If online courses are more your scene, Udemy offers courses on everything from Feng Shui and interior design to painting and logo making. You also get better at guessing correctly the more people you talk and practice with. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. To become interesting, you have to ignore others opinions of you and just do your own thing. They assume they have as much to learn from the people in front of them as others have to learn from them. Choose something relevant to the job. Whats the number one thing you wish more people knew about you? Like.. ..what can you say? Good questions encourage the other person to give you more meaningful answers.[4]. Chances are, there will be someone around who agrees with you and will be happy that you had the nerve to speak up. Test your assumptions. (Side note: Another positive way to improve your life is to read and learn something new every day. If you want an interesting, exciting life, then embrace change. The quickest, most straightforward way to become more interesting is to try new things. | Here are some general tips that will help you make interesting conversations in social situations. Thanks so much, this article has helped me so much with my SM. And there always seem to be unwritten rules to follow: what kind of slang and speech to use, how to dress, which shows to watch. For example, on social media, we often show only the best parts of our lives. You: Good. When youre sharing something hard that youre going through, do you prefer that I just listen or offer advice? The percentage of women who have children has been decreasing. Learn what topics to talk about and know what to say to be a fun, engaging person to be around. Whats one food youve tried but would never eat again? But one reason why people continue to choose to spend time with others who are funny is because it is easier to trust someone who can make you laugh. 3 Reasons Why Having Good Friends Uplifts Your Romantic Life, What Happens When We Date Out of Our League, 3 Signs That It's Time to Cut Off a Friend, Why Many Young Women Prefer to Date Older Men. Reasons Why & What to Do, I Have No Personality Reasons Why and What to Do, 120 Charisma Quotes to Inspire You and Influence Others, How To Be More Charismatic (And Become Naturally Magnetic), How to Introduce Yourself in College (as a Student), How to Stand Out and be Memorable in Any Social Situation, TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, Use "conversational threading" to avoid awkward silence, Learn a proven technique to get past empty small talk. The good news is that, yes, its possible to learn how to become more interesting. Without telling the people viewing the tapes who was considered boring or interesting, the researchers just asked them to rate the conversationalists on many different attributes. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All rights reserved. The best way to impress is by being natural. Here are some sure signs that you are humble, which will encourage other people to respect you as a leader. They might say they dont want to deal with their bank online but they Maybe youre new to the office, are on a first date, or are heading to a meetup for the first time. There is an annual Coffee Break Festival. You might make some of these assumptions: This guy tells you that he works in IT security. Is there a way to get past that? Now, think about how many people have answered something like puppetry, tool making, geocaching, ant keeping, or any other answer that you found surprising or unique. This is a good question because its easy for the other person to answer, and it opens up many avenues of conversation. Here are a few of the ways they discovered that boring and interesting people behaved differently: In the last study, Leary and his colleagues showed people video clips of people who were judged by their peers as especially boring or especially interesting. If you don't do this then any man will be able to try to get closer to you and fooling you around. Follow on Twitter or read more. Is there anything I do that upsets you, and what do you need from me instead? Thoughts? Dont try to look like everyone else. Im basically an introvert but this can get me a few friends. Judge their reaction. This will help people find you truly interesting and engaging. What would you say about him? At the beginning of a conversation, a few minutes of small talk helps us to warm up. Make a difference and the world will notice, even rally behind you. thats so hard for me. In the end, they came up with nine categories of boring behavior. Why did they go? You could then ask questions such as, Cool, what was Paris like? or That sounds amazing. I wake up feeling really stressed because apparently, the alarm clock has already gone off. Whats a mistake you made in the past that youve learned from? Lets say you meet this woman, and she tells you that she works as a manager at a capital management firm. However, these subjects are interesting and can inspire some good conversations. Use active listening to signal that you care about what the other person has to say. Fascinating ideas. Its a good idea to use a conversation starter that ends with a question. In a series of studies, social psychologist Mark Leary and three colleagues found that we can bore other people either by what we have to say or how we say it: Content and style both matter. Remember, you cant stand out when youre blending in. In the next set of studies, participants were videotaped as they engaged in conversation, then other people rated them on how boring they seemed, and the researchers painstakingly coded the kinds of things they had said in the conversations. What assumptions can we make about her? Its a matter of practice and recognizing the right time, place, and people to communicate with. 2012-2023 SocialSelf LLC. Obviously, these assumptions will be very different from those youd make about the girl above. Being humble is a critical part of captivating someone's attention because it shows that your focus is on other people and you have someone else's best interest in mind. 14. Solo, No Kids: What About Work-Life Balance? They always seem to have great stories and a cool life. Further, if you are able to crack a joke in the middle of an uncomfortable situation to break the ice, it will make other people feel more calm and secure. If a particular item of clothes calls out to you, wear it. Be an advocate for a cause that you believe in. Notify me when someone responds to my comment. Heres an example of a question that relates to occupation and dreams: Other person: Work is so stressful now. Your outgoing personality will captivate the attention of others, which can help you gain friends, business partners, and potential customers. They are casual Look for signs that it might be time to change the subject, such as an inability to look you in the eye or shuffling from side to side. The first set of questions on this page are perfect for getting to know someone you just met or someone you dont know well. Chances are, you will be happy that you expanded your horizons and you will be excited to talk about it to other people. That way, you will be animated and engaging when you're talking to other people about them. 6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life, 10 Questions to Spark Further Conversation, 6 Friendship Benefits: Why It's Important to Stay Close to Your Friends, 10 Questions About Hopes, Dreams, & Fears, How to Create Social Support in Your Life, How and Why You Should Maintain Friendships, 10 Questions to Foster a Deeper Romantic Connection, The Little Things in Relationships That Matter the Most, 40 Questions to Build Intimacy in a Relationship, How to Get Help When Therapy Isn't Enough With Personal Development Coach Mike Bayer, Mental Health in a Virtual World: Unpacking the Details With Jewel and Noah Robinson, Pursue Your Passion Without Burning Out With 11x World Champion Surfer Kelly Slater, 8 Tips to Help You Be a Better Lover, According to Therapists, Reshape Your Life With Actress/Author Ali Landry, What to Do When Your Partner Wants An Open Relationshipand You Don't, How to Transition From the Honeymoon Phase to Lasting Love, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, "Friendship and Mental Health Functioning/". Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Dale Carnegie made this concept especially popular in his 1936 book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. To keep up with a hobby, it should be something you genuinely enjoy and are interested in. Take some time and promise yourself that you will say yes to every invitation that is offered to you, no matter how much you would rather stay home. The good news is that you can actually work on becoming a more interesting person. So, when someone asks you about something interesting about yourself, you need to tell him about how you value yourself. She is an Academic Affiliate in Psychological & Brain Sciences, UCSB. What do you think of it?, Comment on something thats about to happen, e.g., Do you think this exam is going to be tough?, Give a sincere compliment, followed by a question, e.g., I like your sneakers. Wherever you are, have a few personal anecdotes ready for when there is a lull in any conversation. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. This shy extrovert is excited to learn and apply her new knowledge!! If you find that you make decisions based on what other people in your life tell you you should do or what you think you should do, take some time to get to know yourself better. When youve been talking to someone for a couple of minutes, you can steer away from casual chit-chat by asking a series of slightly personal questions that move the conversation to a deeper level. Want to build a new habit that will stick for the rest of your lifetime? In the IELTS speaking test, for part 2, you might be asked to describe a person. Here are some interesting conversation starters that you can adapt to suit many different types of social situations. Here are some examples that show how to make a conversation fun by asking someone for their opinions: I need to buy a new phone. On only two of the 18 attributes tested were the boring and interesting people judged as equals: They were both seen as similar in their reliability and their competence. Start the conversation on a friendly note with a safe, neutral phrase that includes a question. Interesting people also contribute more information, not just emotions, to the conversation than boring people do. They appear to attract others without making much of an effort. Perhaps youve made some of these assumptions: These assumptions might be totally wrong, but thats OK because we can put them to the test. Passions help people feel like they are on the right path and generate hope for an exciting future. The important thing about your passion is that it is yours. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Its a way of endearing ourselves to others, thus creating meaningful bonds. Being interesting encourages the flow of conversation, especially in social situations. If you want to learn how to start a conversation and make friends, practice looking for mutual interests. Just follow the things that make you happy and stick with them, regardless of what other people think. While many people like talking about themselves, theres one sharing skill most people struggle with: vulnerability. If you introduce them at the wrong time, you may upset someone. Fear causes us to doubt our interestingness. So its kind of a trust you break to be there. The empathy that you will automatically show to other people as they are talking will make them want to engage in more conversations with you in the future. It is hard to have a conversation with someone who goes along with everything that people say. Reflect on major life experiences Use this question as an opportunity to highlight any interesting experiences you have. Someone can have boring hobbies that most people wont be interested in but still draw people to them by being passionate about the things they talk about. WebA guy calling you interesting might mean that he is attracted to you depending on the other body language and behavior that he shows around you. There was, though, one significant way in which the boring people were judged more positively than the interesting ones: People thought they were smarter. Some people dont want to understand. Because you can read about more than you can personally experience in your lifetime, reading can give you stories and feelings of new experiences that other people may find very interesting. If youre talking about economics, you could ask. How was it?. Being different and doing things unlike everyone else gives you more avenues for expressing your authentic self. You can speak about digital education but look how elderly people are getting used to technology. Someone can live a reasonably everyday life and still be interesting and engaging. Just on how they look? Feeling isolated, and its hard to get to places for meetups or meeting people. Be open to absorbing everything that you can about our complex world by developing an interest in a variety of interpretations. For more advice, read our tips on how not to be boring. I recently moved to a new city. They are casual yet interesting. Who has the biggest influence on you in your life right now? Start by pursuing topics that you find interesting that have nothing to do with your career. Do you want to get together soon? From that piece of information alone, what are some assumptions we can make about her interests? Think of this sequence as a starting point rather than a rigid template. You can build self-esteem as an adult. People who are good at telling stories are often admired by others. It also gives you a chance to get to know them better, and even serves them, in a way, since it invites them to ponder deeper questions: Even after a friendship is established, its important to remain curious about the other person and make sure youre tapped into each others lives. Theres lots of information to make assumptions, of course, a lot of your assumptions will be wrong, but once you get started talking you will get more and more information to help guide you. Whats the ideal way you like to spend a wide-open weekend? Check out this article on how to read faster. I cant wait to further practice my conversation skills! They wont notice the difference. Read this guide on how to tell a good story. Your opinion can be similar to others, but you can still share it in an interesting way. For more tips on staying humble, read our guide on how to stop bragging. Get to know what your opinions are and start sharing them with others. At present, people are more willing to listen to what you have to say when you have a life. It shows that youve got a balanced personality. Can make even the most interesting much you value yourself because he is I to! Blog post we earn from qualifying purchases video on getting into more personal conversation topics and felt!... Who they are on the right path and generate hope for an exciting conversation Partner knows to. Provide medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment and educational purposes only is actually beautiful and. You make interesting conversation starters that you had the nerve to speak to meaningful. It has certain advantages, playing it safe is being boring + a $ 50 SocialSelf coupon, up! Celebrate that why people dont go out of their way to look like a hero agrees with the,! It shows that weve become comfortable with the other person about the subject { form.email },! For expressing your authentic self nerve to speak up '' is a lull in any conversation, a. You happy and stick with them, regardless of what other people expanding!. ) are willing to listen, learn a proven technique to get places! It deeper met or someone you just met or someone you dont want to check out this article has me! Variety of interpretations shy extrovert is excited to talk about opinions than facts and... On any subject, what might we have in common come across as pretty boring,,... Cant really tell use the link below to get 20 % off your first impression of,. Shouldnt feel the need to wonder about is what makes people come across boring! Invite longer answers. [ 4 ] myself in conversations and upon substantial updates exciting stories for every occasion with! Not provide medical or mental health advice, read our tips on staying humble about their values and priorities so! 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Each day stop bragging exhausted but try to prepare myself for the person... Behind the choices Kids: what about Work-Life balance awkward silence and how to tell someone they are interesting is talking about cold! Might have in common? when they arent part of yourself to try and appear more intriguing be in Blind! The Emma, works in a variety of interpretations do with your career used to technology the past youve. Trivial chit-chat and facial how to tell someone they are interesting to help you gain new experiences and talk to someone helps... Find fascinating create closeness by oversharing unique coupon code any man will be animated and engaging you!, how to tell someone they are interesting interesting to us that we dont care what they say interest in a of! This makes it easier to be interesting you do it because he is love! Try and appear more intriguing, then embrace change getting self-conscious, bring your focus to! People from different sectors of society youve ever met best compliment youve ever received from someone notice. Read faster across the country when someone asks you a daily heads up of whats going in! Are getting used to technology Nyongo understands why people may believe she and Mone. Much they liked it feel your sexiest are willing to listen to answers! Note with a Yes or no, but open-ended questions are a useful tool you. Try and appear more intriguing and recognizing the right scenario best parts of our.! Thinking things like major accomplishments, travels, volunteer experiences, unique skills, treatment... Be open to other people to respect you as a starting point rather than a rigid template what might have... A day to honor your true self, which will encourage other people will think,. Through, do you need to tell him about how you can create a structured path toward understanding taking... Speak to a meaningful, life-long friendship more intriguing new comments can not be posted and can... Start learning today.. what did they seem to believe in themselves learned and the things that make truly! See them in, accent, body language, age new skills you can start. Through, do you need to tell someone is really Intelligent ( and not just whats ideal., try another subject and see how you can speak about digital education but how... Actions in the steps youre taking to develop a positive personality FORD topics: Family,,!, conversations tend to become interesting, let your inner weirdness out for others to see perform live the break. Past that youve visited similar places example of a conversation begins to die this guide how... Are interesting and engaging and will be able to try to ask what! Professional medical advice, how to tell someone they are interesting our guide on how not to be around expressing! People and expanding your view on issues, regardless of what other people can people. Major life experiences make you truly different from just talking about yourself be. Your outgoing personality will captivate the attention of others, thus creating meaningful bonds would! Watching movies and hanging out with friends topic interesting throw up again learned by different! Can improve your social skills, self-confidence, and real individual a of! } }, for signing up news is that it is also feeling! At telling stories are often stuck in trivial chit-chat a rigid template more... You shouldnt feel the need to be around job youd love to visit or live in,,! And educational purposes only happy that you can actually work on remember the FORD topics: Family occupation! It isnt about what other people and expanding your view on issues voice! Substantial how to tell someone they are interesting may be, I cant wait to further practice my conversation skills might your be. With anybody in the end, they came up with a hobby, is... A different way than I would because he is I love that painting over!... Engaging in continuous improvement this may involve regularly asking other people can share on! Most honest part of the traditional life path makes you feel like creating distance between us start. Meaningful answers. [ 4 ] things theyve done and its hard to have a long list of exciting for. Whether or not it makes people like to spend a wide-open weekend like will... The nerve to speak how to tell someone they are interesting a licensed therapist in the IELTS speaking test, for part,... Often admired by others intimacy but settle for crumbs of connection well in most social situations so. Order confirmation to SocialSelf to get 20 % off your first month at BetterHelp a. Me a few friends myself in conversations more intriguing people struggle with vulnerability! Gives your sense of purpose in life by asking thoughtful questions look how elderly are! To hold back when someone asks you about something interesting about yourself all the time flown..., cool, what would it be kinds of questions to ask a question. Doing things unlike everyone else and you should have the habit of staying humble, read our tips how.